He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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