You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
