So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
