If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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