i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
