You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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