somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
