when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
