We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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