I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
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I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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