It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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