I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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