Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Boobs are out for the taking
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
