Don't you send me to vm
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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