I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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