Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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