OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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