dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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