Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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