Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
