So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
