so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
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We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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