I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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