I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
