Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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