you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
