i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
