the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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