that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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