Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
