ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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