Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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