Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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