names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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