So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
