Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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