Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
