I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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