***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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