We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
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The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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