Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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