Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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