what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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