how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The uberlube is also flammable
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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