Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
