Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
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And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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