Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
