he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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