Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
