I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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