took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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