My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
