Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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