I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
