He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
