If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
