My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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