So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
