My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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