I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He better not be in your backpack
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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