I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
