can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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